Family photo albums from my childhood simply don’t exist. No albums, not a framed artwork, my past is invisible. Invisible to me, to my wife and to my son or anyone else. There’s nothing of my past to show during the rest of my life. No recorded moments of those that never return. Of course, there is a reason behind this.
When I was a child, my parents passed away very young. We had some family pictures I’m sure, one here and one there, but not so many and even those were unorganized. I guess it just wasn’t important, at that time to my parents.
Many, many years later I returned to the house where I grew up, as I had to sell it. At that time, I clearly knew I will never move back there. There was lots of preparation taking place, renovating, cleaning, and trying to find anything useful. Then it hit me. There was nothing to see that helped me remember where I came from. It hit me hard.
To give away the place where you spend your most precious years wasn’t the worst thing of all, but to realize, at that very moment, that faces were fading away, and I had no chance of recovering them.
Finally, I found one passport picture of my mother, and one of my father, and one family picture that was crossed over with a pen by a child’s hand; that child was me. That’s all I have now at this moment while I’m writing these words, they are right next to my desk on the fireplace.
From the price of that house I purchased a flat somewhere else while I was at university studying sociology, but I had the itch, that I was missing something. I needed something. I needed something else other than what I had. So, the moment came when I realized, I needed a camera.
At that time my financial situation clearly wasn’t at the stage where I could easily afford anything like that, and basically in a blink I decided to get rid of the flat, and invest the capital into photography equipment, and move into college.
I got all sort of statements from people, including ‘crazy’, ‘insane’. They explained me with the enthusiasm of a financial advisor, how bad decision it was, because having that flat is always safe, and I knew nothing about photography in general.
I was crazy, but I had not much to lose. Having a flat is safe, but what did they know about being unsafe? I didn’t even know how to turn on a camera, but I had all the courage to learn everything. After all, this was the best decision of my entire life.
Years after, the pieces started to fit together. I sensed I always had the power in me to turn all negative things into positives whatever they were, it looks as though this decision was the most important of all,to cure the lack of memories.
I settled down with my own family and took a million pictures of them. So, I made my decision: if I can do it of my wife, my son, and myself, then I can do it for others too, so I will.
Portraits: they are everything. The best thing today is that I can provide you, your children, any of your family members or friends something I never had, the legacy of you.
Winning the awards is satisfying, but making people time travel is epic.
Welcome to my studio.